Dating Body Language Dos and Don’ts

Wednesday, June 20th, 2012
Shadow of couple kissing


Whether we like it or not, our body language can reveal a lot about what we’re thinking and feeling, so if you want to impress your date it’s important to keep an open mind and open body language.

Psychological wellbeing practitioner Paul Ledger explains the dos and don’ts of dating body language:

Body language dos

  • Follow the SOLAR principle to make your date feel at ease:
    S    it well–make sure you sit up straight and face the person who you are talking to.
    O    penness- keep your body language open by not crossing your arms.
    L    ean forward- leaning in towards your date shows that you are genuinely interested in what they are saying.
    A    ttentiveness- focus on what your date is saying and doing. Don’t get distracted by anything else going on around you.
    R    elax- it’s easier said than done with someone you’ve just met, but if you relax your body language is likely to put your date at ease.
  • Mimicking your date’s body language will show that you are comfortable with them. You can also test to see if your date likes you by making conscious gestures such as touching your face and seeing if they copy it.
  • Look out for signs that your date fancies you. For example, women are likely to touch their face and hair more than usual if they like someone.
  • Smile, it’s the best way to show someone that you’re happy to be in their company.

Body language don’ts

  • Don’t cover your face with sunglasses, hats or headphones as your date won’t be able to see your face properly and therefore won’t be able to bond with you as well. The same theory applies to your profile picture.
  • Don’t slouch as it makes you look disinterested and can make you look like a grumpy teenager.
  • Don’t stare at the floor or stare intensely at your date. It’s important to look at your date when they are talking to you, but don’t stare as it is rude.
  • Don’t be too tactile with your date too early on. Some people are more physically affectionate than others, so hold back until you know whether your date is a tactile person or not.

Alongside body language, Paul says it’s important to listen carefully to what your date says, as you can relate back to what they have said in the future to show that you are interested in them.