When Should You Tell Your Date That You’ve Googled Them?

A few months back, we looked into whether you should or shouldn’t Google your date (other search engines are available).

We received a surprising number of responses through Facebook and Twitter; from people who said that they felt “it is a little stalkerish”, to those who said that they would look someone up to “check to see they’re who they say they are”.

If you do choose to look at your date’s online presence, when should you admit it to them?

On the first date

Your first date is normally the time where you’re trying to impress each other, but honesty is also a well-received trait, so your first date may be a good time to reveal your little secret.

If you do choose to reveal that you have been Googling your date on your first date, make sure that it isn’t the first thing you say.  Steer clear of “Hi, nice to meet you in person. You look just like your Facebook photo”.  Look for a point in the conversation where it seems normal, for example if they say “were you wondering if I’d be a complete nutter?”

If they tell you first

If you date comes out and says “I have to admit, I looked at your Facebook page”, then it’s a good time to say “Don’t worry, I understand, I had a quick look at yours too”. It’ll reassure your date that they’re not the only one doing a little pre-date research and get it off your chest as well.

When you’re in a relationship

When you’re already in a relationship, you will be comfortable with each other and more willing to be open with each other too. However, by this point they may wonder why you didn’t come clean earlier on.

On your wedding day

By the time you get round to the speeches on your wedding day, you’ve already promised to be together forever, so nothing can change that… not even an admission of small-scale cyber stalking.

You could even use it in the speeches “after a quick look on Facebook, LinkedIn and Tumblr, Katie knew that Martin was the man for her.” However if you/your best man/your dad (delete as applicable) have something much more interesting to say it could always wait or possibly never be said…

Never

If you’re a believer in ‘what they don’t know can’t hurt them’ and your date hasn’t ever mentioned it, then you can probably get away with not saying anything yourself.

Whichever option you choose, make sure you are comfortable with it and don’t feel pressured by friends or family. Remember that one of the joys of meeting someone on an online dating site such as Muddy Matches is that you will already know something about them from reading their dating profile.