Dating When You Have Children

When you have a child or children from a previous relationship, it adds another aspect to dating. I spoke to a number of people who have children and have started a new relationship to find out what they learnt about dating with children.

Although their experiences are helpful, it is important to remember that all children are different and grown up children are a whole other post entirely. Have a read and let us know if you have any advice that you would like to share yourself with regards to dating when you have children.

Be honest

If you have children and have started to date someone new, be honest and tell your children that you are dating someone, instead of referring to your new love as your ‘special friend’. Using a term like special friend can confuse young children and older children will just cringe at the phrase.

Spend quality time with your children

When you start dating someone, it is usual to want to spend lots of time with them, but make sure you still fit in quality time with your children. If you only get to see your children at the weekends, for example, you should make sure that you arrange dates during the week so that you don’t lose out on time with your family.

Be patient

When you’re in a new relationship, it’s understandable that you will want to show off your new love to your family, but it’s important to wait until you have a built a solid relationship together before introducing your new partner to your children. It wouldn’t be fair on your children if they were to get to like someone you are dating, only for you to break up. It’s also not fair to introduce them to a string of new people.

Meet the children on neutral ground

Meeting your partner’s children for the first time at their home can seem a bit like you are encroaching on their private space and bringing them to your home may seem a little frightening too. Try meeting them in a public place and take part in an activity together.

One of the respondents, who married a man with two young children said: “I met my husband’s children at a petting farm so that there was a distraction for them and I could get involved in something with them.”

Don’t stay over

It is tempting to stay at your partner’s house, especially if you live far apart, but make sure that their children are comfortable with you before you move to this stage. Instead if you wish to spend the night together, treat yourself to a night in a hotel.

Spend quality time as a couple

Even after meeting the children and getting to the stage where you feel like a part of their lives, do not feel like you have to spend all of your time together as a group. Make sure that you spend time together as a couple, so that you keep your own relationship strong. Even David and Samantha Cameron make time for a ‘date night’.

What would be your best piece of advice for dating with children? If you have children, would you only want to date other people who have children? Join the discussion on Facebook.