Dating in the Farming Community

Muddy Matches was a special guest in @AgriChatUK’s Twitter discussion on ‘Love and Relationships in Farming’ alongside GatePost and Ned Henderson, and thought we’d share with you some of the responses with you:

Being Gay in a Farming Community

When AgriChatUK asked if being gay is still a taboo in the farming community there was a big reaction, which suggested that although there are still some people who are not accepting of gay people, most openly welcome gay people into their community.

Fellow special guest @GatepostTweet said that the “taboo is still around, but I know at least one person who was pleasantly surprised at positive reaction when he came out.”

Agreeing with the Scottish agricultural charity @GatepostTweet’s comment, @MertinLloyd, @lounfu and @neilquinlan also shared examples of gay couples who had been accepted within their local farming community. Farmer @NeilQuinlan even went as far to say that one gay man who he knows “does better with guys than I ever did with the ladies”.

However, agriculture student @Ho1mesi said: “I still think male farmers feel huge stress and pressure and pray that their sons aren’t gay! They’re still old-fashioned.”

Is it More Difficult for Women Farmers to Find Love?

Although not on the (extensive) question list, conversation soon turned to what it’s like to be a female farmer looking for love.

Approximately 20% of farmers are women (and we have hundreds of female farmers on Muddy Matches), yet when most people think of a farmer they automatically think of a man. In fact, during the chat some of the women involved said how contractors ask to speak to their brother or father when they arrive on the farm.

Farm Apprentice finalist @SamPitchley tweeted: “The dating game is hard for a girl that wants to farm, in a city where boys just assume you want a man with the job.”

Dairy farmer @funnyfarmloulou agreed that dating is trickier for female farmers than it is for male farmers as “non-farming women take a partner’s job for what it is, it’s a lot harder for non-farming men to understand what’s involved”. She argued that the “job makes dating a nightmare”.

Fellow dairy farmer @LowerDairyFarm said that men can be put off by a female farmer’s “scary strength”, that’s if they don’t assume that all the hard work is done by the male members of her family.

However @JoeFrecknall, was advised by his old college lecturer that if a woman “can carry two conventional bales across the yard she’s a keeper”. In fact, maybe we should add how many hay bales you can carry as a question on the ‘How Muddy are You?’ Quiz.

We’d love to hear what you think. Do you think that being gay in a farming community makes it harder to find a date, or that female farmers face extra pressures when it comes to dating? Join the discussion on Twitter using the hashtag #MMfarmerdating or on Facebook.

AgriChatUK can be found on www.agrichatuk.org.
To contact special guest RSABI GatePost go to https://www.rsabi.org.uk or phone 0300 111 4166.
Additionally, guest tweeter and Integrative psychotherapist, Ned Henderson can be contacted through https://www.evolvepsychotherapy.co.uk/counselling-therapy-london/body-psychotherapy/.

A summary of the questions and answers can be found here, courtesy of RuSource.