Why Haven’t They Replied to My Message?

The most frustrating thing about dating is waiting to hear back from someone. However, it’s important to try not to think about it all the time, which I realise is about as hard as it is to not look  when someone shouts “don’t look”.

Here are a few reasons why someone may not have been in contact with you just yet and some ideas for what to do next.

They’ve been away – Check the ‘active within’ status on the person’s Muddy Matches profile to see if they have used the site recently. If their status says ‘active within 3 weeks’ then it means that they have not been on the website recently. Although we advise people to ‘hide’ their profile when they will not be using the website for a while, not everyone chooses to do so. Also, we all know how unreliable rural broadband can be!

In this situation the best thing to do is to be patient – don’t send another message as it will make you seem too pushy and it can overwhelm someone if they see lots of messages from one person.

They are carefully crafting a response – While some people are happy to reply to a message straight away, others like to spend time thinking of the best way to respond to respond to a message on a dating website. So days or even weeks can pass while they try to think of the best thing to say.

Again, the best thing to do is to be patient. However, you may wish to send another quick message if your first message was time dependent. For example, if you are down their way on business, you could ask if they are free while you are nearby.

They’re distracted – You that important thing that you keep meaning to do, but keep putting off? Well, simply enough, some people get distracted and it can take them a while to respond.

They’re waiting to subscribe – It may seem logical to subscribe as soon as you receive a message from somebody who you like, or if you spot someone who you would like to get in contact with. However, some people wait for payday, or until they have had a certain number of messages, or for whatever reason. It may take a while.

They don’t like rejecting people – Sadly, some people don’t reply because they don’t like to send rejection messages, so they choose to ignore the message. We think that it’s nicer to send a polite ‘thanks, but no thanks’ type response as it’s not nice to be left wondering what has happened.

Remember – it is a good idea not to pin all of your hopes on one person. It is also important to be patient as not everyone will reply straight away.