What to Write in a Message

Writing messages is most essential part of online dating as it’s how you get to know people and crucially, how you arrange to meet up with them. However, it’s also one of the most intimidating parts of online dating, second only to getting started in the first place.

We’ve put together some tips to ease you through the process of writing your first message.

Keep it short

Keep your first message about the same length as a text message, so that it doesn’t overwhelm the recipient.

Don’t use text speak

Although your message should be short, it shouldn’t include any text speak to save time as it can put people off, or at least leave them wondering what AMA means.

Relate to their profile

Tailor your message by including a reference to what attracted you to their profile. By mentioning what you liked about their profile, you are showing that you have paid attention to what they had written and flattery is always a good thing!

Suggest a date idea

You could suggest a date idea that relates to something that they have written in their profile. For example, if they say that they love visiting historic properties, you could suggest a house that you could visit together.

Ask a question

Asking a question makes it easier for the person to write back to you, so you are more likely to get a fast response.

Don’t be crude

It should go without saying, but avoid anything too sexual, or rude in your first message. Even a naughty joke can be misinterpreted if someone doesn’t know you well enough.