Are You Overthinking Things?

Even the most level-headed of people can start to overthink things when it comes to online dating. This means that you start to question everything and to try to guess what other people are really thinking. Here are some of the most common situations for people to over-analyse and what is really happening.

“I haven’t had a response to my message”

If you haven’t had a response to your message, it can mean one of three things:

1. They haven’t read your message yet 

   We are all so used to getting instant responses via our mobile phones that it can seem really slow if you don’t hear from someone straight away via an online dating website. Check the person’s ‘active within’ status on their dating profile and it will tell you if they have been online since you sent the message.

2. They are not a subscriber

   At Muddy Matches, we allow people to be free members before they choose to subscribe. This means that they can see what they think of other members before they choose to pay. This might mean that the person is waiting for enough interest before they choose to subscribe. You can speed up this process by signing up for a Premium subscription, which will allow non subscribers to respond to you.

3. They aren’t interested

   If you have waited a while and have seen that the person has been online since you sent your message, it is likely that they are not interested, but have not had the courtesy to let you know what they are thinking.

Did I say the wrong thing?

If you enjoyed meeting with your new date and were sure that it was the start of something good, it can be a terrible shock to find out that they don’t want to see you again. At this point, it’s easy to spend your time going over everything that you said and did to see where you went ‘wrong’.

Not going on a second date doesn’t mean that you did anything wrong, it just means that you weren’t the right fit for that person at that time. View the date as a practice for when the right person does come along.

Am I undatable?

After single for a long time, it can feel like you might be single forever. However, ruminating will only make you upset.

Talk to your friends and family about your dating situation and they should be able to help you with some positive content for your dating profile and can help you to understand why you haven’t met someone special just yet (for example, that you live in a remote location, you’ve got a ‘type’ that isn’t working for you…).