How To Move On After A Break Up

A broken heart hurts. Whatever the reason for your break-up with your ex, you may be left with a multitude of emotions; confusion, rejection, guilt, betrayal, abandoned, unvalued, worthless, unloved and lonely. Even one of those is enough to fell the strongest out person out there, so the end of a relationship is clearly a traumatic time. Tempting as it may be to wallow in your home, Bridget Jones-style, eating cereal out of a packet, there are many things you can do to accept your break-up, dust yourself down and emerge happier than ever.

1. Talk

Bottling your emotions up inside is never going to be a good idea. Talk to close friends or members of your family; by telling someone about what you’re going through you can start to accept your new situation and process your feelings. The advice and support of people who love you will also help you to recover any lost self-esteem and generally give you a boost.

2. Journal

If you’re not comfortable about talking to someone, journalling your thoughts and feelings is another fantastic way to get whatever is on your mind out of your head.

3. Sleep + rest

When you’re upset and your mind won’t stop racing, sleep sometimes doesn’t come easily.Lying awake, tormented by your thoughts, is bad enough but sleeping poorly results in you feeling down and low the next day. Try to create a new bedtime routine to calm your mind and relax your body; a warm bath, background music and some gentle yoga or breathing practice are all good moves. Similarly, try to avoid TV, screens and your phone before bedtime.

4. A new activity or hobby, or rediscover an old one

A break-up can leave you with lots of spare time on your hands so take the opportunity to tale up a new hobby to occupy your time and your thoughts. You’ll be so busy having fun you won’t have chance to dwell on what you used to do with your ex.

5. An unsent letter

Break-ups can often leave you with a lot of unanswered questions and things to say. Put the phone down! Modern tech and social media makes it easy to fire off your thoughts as they come to you. Don’t! Prolonging contact with your ex after all the necessary things have been done (exchanging belongings, etc.) won’t make either of you feel good. If you have questions or something that you simply have to say, try writing it down in a letter or email. It’s a healthy way to process your thoughts and emotions and get your questions out. Then, destroy it.

6. Plan something lovely

How many times in your relationship did you really fancy doing something but didn’t because your partner didn’t want to? Well, now is your chance. Just like in point 4, make the most of your newly-free time to treat yourself to something you really want to do. Whether it’s a spa day, a trip to Cornwall, a mountain hike or something a little more low-key, it really will make you feel good.

7. Don’t rush things

Sadly, there is no hard and fast rule about how long it takes to get over a relationship. Be kind to yourself and let yourself recover before you rush in to something new. And when you are ready to meet other rural singles, online dating with Muddy Matches is a great way to ease you back in to country dating and meet someone who shares your love of the countryside.