“Size 12+ is not for me”

This week, Labour Councillor Dan Fleming’s online dating profile caused a lot of discussion online when it was revealed that he had included a long list of demands for what he wants his future partner to be like.

He was ridiculed for saying that he wants a woman who is smaller than a size 12, who is a Catholic, who doesn’t have children and who doesn’t have tattoos. However, for some, it was his phrasing that caused more of a furore than the actual content, when he insensitively said that his future wife would be “without child, unless your partner has died” and that “all tattood [sic] women can do one”.

So… should such forthright honesty be encouraged, or should you be more open-minded about what you want in partner?

In favour of a restrictive list

Honesty is meant to be the best policy – Including such honest demands in your profile will show people what your personality is like and they will be under no illusion about whether they are your ‘type’ or not. Yes, you will anger a lot of people, but it can be a way to skim off the people who will be offended by your personality in the long run.

Those who do fit your demands will feel special  – If someone does match all of your needs then they will feel that they are part of an elite group.

In opposition

You can look immature and aggressive – Including a long list of demands can make you look aggressive, like you have been spurned and haven’t been mature enough to deal with it. Or, it can make you appear smug and people will start to pick fault with your profile and say that “you’re not all that yourself”.

You might miss out on the right person – We’ve lost track of the amount of people who have told us that their husband, or wife was completely different to the type of people they used to date before meeting one another. You might think that you want someone with a particular look, or a particular way of thinking, but this can change if you meet the right person.

You are likely to get trolled – If you write in a particularly abrasive manner, like Dan Fleming, then you are likely to receive a lot of messages from people who just want to tell you that they don’t like what you have said.